Have you seen the documentary “My Autistic Big Brother and Me?”
If you haven’t and you can catch it on iPlayer, it’s a beautiful story of Mikey Kay’s autistic 47-year old brother Spencer, who finds his peace in epic walks across Wales.
It’s exceedingly sad though, so do have tissues to hand!
It’s sad, largely due to the fact that Spencer’s Mum, Nicky, dies at the young age of 55 and being Spencer’s primary carer, this clearly has a profound effect on both him and the rest of the family.
What really struck a chord with me is the fact that Nicky died of cervical cancer but when it was discovered, she was already suffering from a huge, advanced tumour.
In hindsight, it was discovered that she’d missed smear tests for years, being too busy to attend her appointments as her life was devoted to looking after Spencer.
We see it all the time.
Fortunately, not this dramatically, but in our line of work we speak to ladies on an almost daily basis for whom self-care is literally an alien concept.
And I’m not saying that men don’t do the same and shoot me for stereotyping, but women generally take on the more nurturing, care-giving role when someone in the family (even healthy, able-bodied members) needs something…anything.
But where does that leave us?
In our experience it often leaves women, seriously far from good health.
Overweight, unfit, at increased risk of many cancers, at increased risk of heart disease, strokes, type-2 diabetes…the list goes on.
In a nutshell, a lot closer to death than they should be for their age. Excuse the morbidity but it’s true. I’m merely stating facts.
What struck me when Nicky passed away in the documentary, was how much Spencer still needed her. How much her daughter and other son missed her too. All that sorrow and heartbreak when a smear test MAY have detected abnormalities early enough for a totally different outcome to unfold.
Now I’m not saying that Nicky would have survived or that self-care always prevents cancer, sadly that’s not the case…but we stack the odds up against ourselves when we don’t make the time to look after ourselves.
And I’m not saying self-care is an easy option. I know it’s hard!
But if we don’t make it happen, nobody else will!
And what are the consequences if we don’t take that control?
When we don’t look after ourselves: eat well, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, where does that leave us?
It leaves us ill.
It leaves us shattered, with no energy, making everything in life an uphill battle.
It leaves us feeling far from happy. Miserable with our body, low in mood and often irritable with the very ones we’re devoting our time to.
In many cases, it literally leaves us closer to death, with a much higher risk of developing a life-limiting condition.
We make excuses about having no time, yet all of us have access to the same 24 hours every day as everyone else.
We do, however, make different choices about how we’ll spend them…and social media is a fine stealer of time if you let it become so.
Prioritising exercise, sleep (rest) and eating a nourishing diet are the cornerstones to filling your cup.
When we engage in these regularly, our energy improves, our mood improves, our self-esteem increases and we just feel better!
Better about us, better about life and ironically, better about those we’re caring for!
Sadly, it often takes a serious health scare to shake many women into putting themselves first.
We have these conversations with women too regularly…it’s both concerning and extremely sad.
Please don’t let that happen to you.
You cannot give your all to anything in life, loved ones or anything of importance to you, if you’re not putting yourself first.
Our bodies are resilient machines but they’ll only take so much…without regular exercise, rest and real, wholesome food, they start to fall apart.
And in some cases, once that happens, it can already be too late.
Please don’t be that case.
Fill your cup…
…improve your energy
…sleep better
…feel better about yourself and everything in your life!
You owe it to yourself and everyone you love and care for.
